Help I’m Confused

Life is such a fickle thing. From trying to understand what should be done, who you should be, and why you’re even here. We’re all on this quest of knowing. We’re curious beings always searching for the why. I mean just look at the systems we have in place today. From a scientist, to a preacher, to the military. Everything we’ve built are beckons for knowing. They’re structures that seek knowledge, power, understanding, and searches for the unknown. At the core of it all we’re trying to understand life itself and why it exists. There’s debates on where life originated, not just from humans and civilization as we know it, but from that missing X. Was it god. Was it science. How are we to know? With all of that swirling around day to day we still have to go back to that…our day to day. That car note I have to pay, my hulu subscriptions almost up, I got passed up for that promotion AGAIN. Life zooms in and out constantly while we analyze the facets of life both mundane and extraordinary.

So the question arises asking “How do I figure it all out” and man do I wish I had the answers. Life is insanely complicated but simple at the same time. The main points we all go through are the same. Where do I want my life to go? Who do I want to become? Who do I want to share that with? Where do I want to do it? Seems easy enough when you lay it out like that but here’s where the tricky part comes in. Did you start off in life with some special trinkets that give you a head start? Were you placed a few miles behind the starting line? Maybe you’re the lucky one who wanted to be an astronaut since the age of 5. All I’m saying is we’re all just people trying to do our best with the hand we were dealt. That hand might of already had a silver spoon or an apron in it who knows. But whatever it was always strive for your best even when you might not know what that “best” is. As long as you’re trying, the image will begin to form.

Yet again these are just some of the endless thoughts I have everyday while I debate if having that second iced coffee from Dunkin’ is unhealthy or a fuck it treat yourself move. Regardless, I truly feel like we can help each other get to that next level. With so much being thrown at us on a normal day or a normal year, but what’s “normal” anyways. It’s hard to really take time to think of what’s best for you and what you truly want. You’ll never stop having responsibilities and I don’t think you should because they hold people accountable. But you can transform those into something you don’t mind doing. There’s a quote that says “You will forever be a mystery to yourself if you do not analyze the things you are trying to escape.” Take the time to understand yourself and why you think the way you do or have the opinions you have. Is it because of where you are or who you’re around. I’m currently zoomed out in a spiral thinking about other life forms and the origins of existence. I’m also unemployed so I need to zoom back in on finding a job but that’s ok. Zoom into the things that are on your mind today and zoom out into understanding why they exist. We’re all in this together just trying to find that X as to why it all exists.